I’m having a very minor issue – my day is too full. I have two appointments that I have to keep this afternoon, and even though I have the morning to do other work I’m feeling slightly panicky and distracted. The reason is, of course, a buried concern that I’ll get absorbed in my work and miss an appointment – that I won’t be able to fit everything into my day. So, instead I went downstairs to have breakfast.
For the last few days my mind has been telling me that it would probably be a good idea to add a Weekly Goals list to my daily schedule system. The idea being that I can jot down any projects, appointments, or tasks I need to (or would like to) accomplish within the week. That way when I plan my days I can use that list to help me craft my daily To Dos.
Today, as I munched my peanut butter toast, I realized that the problem was I had scheduled in an impractical task for a day with so many timed commitments (i.e. I needed to be somewhere at a particular time). The task itself needs to be done, but it’s a time eater. It easily absorbs an hour more than you meant to spend on it. It really should have been scheduled on a light day or when I have no where to be in the afternoon.
Why then did I put it on my list for today, I wondered of myself. The short answer – I didn’t want to forget it. Right, says my mind again, a weekly list would have been helpful here. I wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting and I could pick and choose what day the task would suit. When I just try and plan my life, or work out a problem, within my head I end up without much more than stress and a stomach ache.
See, that’s the Hidden Power of Paper and a Pen – it takes the issue outside of my head. When it comes to issues like worries and forgetting writing things down is kind of like dumping your purse out on the table. You can see all the crap you’ve acquired (somehow), pick out the things you want to keep with you and leave the rest of the junk on the table (to be cleaned up by someone else I suppose). Writing down my To Do lists and goals and tasks is immensely powerful in my life. Nothing actually gets done, no change gets completed successfully, until I finally put pen to paper.
But, the Hidden Power is more than that. There’s something else. Something bigger and deeper than saying words out loud or thinking them over and over (both equally powerful activities). Yesterday, I journaled about something that’s been on my mind. It’s been weighing me down inside. Not a conscious worry or doubt, but something subtle that serves to nag and prick at me. Like a rock in your shoe, sometimes it’s off to the side, but swing your leg the wrong way and it slips under your heel or arch. I touch on it here and there in my morning pages (journaling), but yesterday it was really heavy inside of me and I was feeling desperate for an answer. Ready to take drastic measures (like start doing some research and reading – you know, actually act to find my solution).
I didn’t write it down and eventually work my way to an answer. No. Because the problem was that I had no internal answer. I needed help. (The prime issue revolved around a doubt of my own accuracy in my conclusions. I’m outside the norm in my thinking (depending on which peer group you are using as your basis for norm) and my mean little inner critic keep prodding me and telling me I’m wrong and trying to pile on the guilt. I needed something to say – it’s ok, you haven’t gotten lost. That kind of thing needs an outside prompt.) I just left all my worry and doubt on the page. I couldn’t afford to pick it back up, I needed to get on with my day, so I left it all dumped out for someone to clean up later.
Then, coincidentally (wink, wink), I realized during my reading time that I had forgotten I was reading a particular book (The Secret Message of Jesus – Mclaren) and decided to pick it back up (sometimes I read so many books at once I forget what I’m currently reading!). I started reading and Lo and Behold (I love that expression) I was suddenly reading comfort. Right there on the page an answer to the words I had left on yet another page, “It’s ok. You aren’t lost. You aren’t alone. You are on a good and solid track. You are getting it. Persevere.”
I pick up paper and pen, and put my mind, my heart down in ink, suddenly comfort, an answer, responds. it never fails. Not once. My life is easier, happier, the days seem to glide along peacefully, when I write things down. So, I’ve become convinced that there must be some hidden power in a piece of paper and a pen (haven’t you felt the magic in the stationary section as you touch the soft paper and admire the elaborate pens?). In and of themselves they just seem like normal everyday objects, but once I let ink run out and stain the paper… that’s when things begin to change.
