Living Abundantly

You can never have enough books I don’t think.

“Hello, my name is Megan and I’m a book-a-holic.”
(In unison:)
“Hi, Megan.”
“I haven’t been doing very good with the whole “giving them up thing”; in fact, I just made a purchase online today.  But in my defense I was using the birthday gift card I had been saving.”

It seems the best way to buy $170 worth of books, like eating an elephant, is simply by doing it in chunks.  (As any wise book buying wife could have told you!)  I’m not done purchasing the Books I Want list but I have crossed a few off and added them to my bookshelf (or the postal system as the case may be).

I used a coupon I got in the mail and my leftover birthday money to buy:
Morning, Noon, & Night – Collins & Inside My Heart – McGraw (not on my previous list but within my niche and therefore of interest to me).
The next week (with permission from Wakizashi) I stopped back and bought:
When God Winks – Rushnell (there was a hardcover book sale on, it’s all about timing)

Today I finally ordered the Amazon.ca books I had a gift card for.  I went through the rest of the list and looked at the prices.  At which point I made an accidental discovery, half of the books were cheaper to order from Chapters.ca and the other half from Amazon.  Oh yeah!

Can you believe, Page After Page (Sellers) was $32 in the Chapters store, something like
$20 odd online and only $17 and change on Amazon?  That went directly in the shopping cart.  Check that off the list:  Page After Page – Sellers.  I also added The Book of Positive Quotations – Cook to the list for similar budgetting reasons.  Two down only a handful more to go.

As the list stands now: two are best purchased through Bookcloseouts.com (you just can’t argue with $6 books), one is still cheaper on Amazon.ca, and the other seven are cheaper
or break even if I buy through Chapters.ca (where I don’t have to pay shipping – an added bonus).

Enough about my list.  On to the books I’ve actually read.

I just realized, I owe you an apology, I didn’t notice that I hadn’t updated my “What I’m Reading” list since I started Captivating.  Bad blogger.  Bad, bad blogger.  For some odd reason I can’t (at this precise moment) remember exactly what I’ve read in the meantime.  Odd.

I did finally finish Red (Dekker).  I’m not sure what to say on this book.  I enjoyed it.  As a rule I do enjoy reading Ted Dekkers works; I’d really like to get my hands on his non-fiction book, The Slumber of Christianity; so far though Blink has been my favorite piece.  I’m not sure why but Black and Red just haven’t captivated me; I haven’t decided if I want to read White or not.  There was nothing wrong with the books per say; at least, there were definitely sections where the suspense was high enough to keep me reading, but nothing drove me to finish them.  I finally had to remind myself it was due just to get it done (I had already renewed it 3 times).

What I decided was that there was nothing magnificant about the writing (sorry Ted).  The story, the characters, it’s all well and good, but the writing itself was just average writing.  No magical wordplay, or take-me-away enchantment ensued.  So reading it was neither here nor there.  (And I wonder if the fact that I could so clearly see the allegory also played a factor in my luke-warm feelings?)  Oh well, eventually I’ll wonder what happened and pick up the final book.  Until then my life does not hang in limbo.

On my MP3 player right now is Wicked and I’m not sure why.  I’m not actually enjoying the book.  I almost feel like I’m trudging through the story looking for the part that makes it worthwhile – waiting for it to get better you might say.  A year or more ago I considered buying the novel, but the bit of pre-reading I did didn’t capture me and I set it aside.  I finally gave in and decided to listen to it because I also pre-read Confessions of an Ugly Step-Sister which I do want to read.  I hope Wicked isn’t a measuring stick of Confessions because it’s really not worth listening to.  I may have Wakizashi put a new story on.

But, I did want to recommend the last book I had on my MP3 player.  Wakizashi gave me Lucky Man by Michael J. Fox (yes, of the Family Ties fame) and I’m so glad he did.
I truly was blessed to read this book.  If you ever wonder, “Why is God doing this to me?” then you need to read this book.  Written ten years after his diagnosis Fox actually says if
someone came to him and offered to turn back time and remove his Parkinson’s from him he would turn them down flat.  Parkinson’s, he says, made him the man he is today – the better man he is today.  Fascinating stuff.

Now, I’m off to have a nap or maybe read a book!

(Add a nasal whiny voice and you’ll have the title down just right.)

It’s 7 pm and I’m ready to go to bed right now.  My Spirit is exhausted.  It’s been a long day (even though it seems I’ve done nothing at all).

One of the ladies in CoffeeBreak has been having problems with Domestic Violence and today the crap hit the proverbial fan.  Actually, the crap was flung yesterday but splashed onto us (me) today.

I spent the day with the girl.  A long, and emotionally draining day.  Sigh…  She’s lonely and afraid and it’s my hope that the counsellors I’m connecting her to will pick up my end
of the rope because as much as I care I just can’t carry such a heavy emotional burden.

Where does she live?  How does she make money?  What about her dog?  What does she eat?  (Never mind anything to do with her marriage or her husband.)  I salute every woman who spends their life devoted to these women – I don’t know how you do it.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not complaining, or whining or begrudging her.  I’m honored to have been able to help this little girl (she’s an adult, but really a little lost girl) – I’m blessed to have given her all I had to give.  But haven’t you had those days where you are out shopping (or on a trip or something) and it’s been a good day but you are so exhausted all you want to do is whine at the top of your lungs “I WANNA GO HOOMMMMEEE.” before collapsing into a vehicle and waiting for someone to carry you to said destination.

It’s been one of those days for me.

Sadly, there’s no end in site.  No reassurance for me that she’s ok, that she won’t be alone
in this, that I won’t have to carry her all the way by myself.  Just thinking about it makes my eyes shift out of focus and my soul droop from exhaustion.

Please pray.  Pray I have wisdom.  Pray April is safe and that strong arms (God’s and other people’s) surround her.  And selfishly, pray that someone more capable comes and takes this burden from me.  Someone more capable and better suited to help April through what promises to be an ordeal.

Poor girl.  Why do some men have to be such jerks?

Yesterday was an interesting day.

I had a massage appointment yesterday afternoon.  Sigh…  My shoulder had been hurting me so much since Friday and, now that I think about it, it’s been about a year since I had one.  Which brings my massage total up to: three.

But it wasn’t the massage that made the day interesting.  It was the conversation.  Seems my masseuse used to have a life coach; she asked about my business, then she began to talk about her coaching experience.

I didn’t mean to.  I really didn’t mean to.  I just couldn’t help myself.  I mean really, it was just that I had a question; I had a suspicion I wanted to clarify.  By the time my massage was finished she was thanking me.  She said I made her feel so comfortable and safe.  (Which was truly a compliment all things considered.)

I was supposed to be able to stay home and work in the evening.  Supposed to.  The price you pay to be a stay at home wife and have the financial freedom you do have provided by your husband is that sometimes he’s the one who gets to stay home (and sleep) and you’re the one who has to play chauffeur.

I had three hours to kill before I could go home so I went to Starbucks (of course, where else is there to go), and, believe it or not, the place was packed.  So I sat at the counter and talked to the Baristas.  I love talking to the Baristas; I especially like them at this particular location – they are always friendly.

Lo and Behold the new girl turns out to be a painter (Acrylics and Oil – I do Watercolor and Acrylic) she and I gabbed about her move, art background, painting and creativity in general while she worked.  When she went on break she sat with me and we talked more.  But not so casually anymore – no matter what I do the coach in me just comes out.

It always baffles me how I can just “know” things about people.  Julie (the Barista) was sitting down talking to me and I was watching her looking at layers.  Layers she’d put on herself hiding herself (or denying herself maybe)  I wanted so much to ask her how much weight she’d put on since this whole thing had started (of course part of being a good coach is knowing where not to go too).  I’m getting to the point where I just can’t wait to start working working – I don’t know where I’m going but I’m definitely ready to start heading in that direction.

Come on already!

Good Morning!  It’s probably not morning where you are anymore (gosh, it’s hardly morning here) but I’m having such a good morning I feel like being loud and friendly.  (Which reminds me of the time I was on the mission trip to Poland and my roommate informed me that Proverbs had a verse about how neighbors dislike happy morning people.  Which I thought was a rather rude thing to point out.  But that’s neither here nor there.)

One of the reasons for my good mood is that just I found a bin of books I thought I had lost and was really starting to lament over having to replace.  I love when things turn out well.

New topic.  I’ve been thinking about this whole “selling my art” thing this week and think I have a plan (begin somewhere and all that).  For now I’m going to put up a blog/website while I compile enough pieces to start participating in shows next spring.  That was a given, what I’ve been deciding is what to call it.  So, what do you all think of Blue Lime Art?  Good name?  I decided that it was the blue limes that started my becoming my own painter and so what better name for selling said work under?

It seems that there are a few other “Blue Lime” businesses on the net, and oddly enough they are all art and design oriented- wierd, but none of them are painters/fine arts kind of stuff so there shouldn’t be any conflict there.

Speaking of art, Wakizashi has stopped blogging and started writing!  I’m not really sure
why he gave up blogging (he says it’s because it would just double his writing work) but I’m so excited about the writing either way.  I’m even more excited to see that my husband has become one of my “clients” – he’s not writing his a-typical left brain well thought out planned work.  No, he’s keeping a journal and jotting all his thoughts and ideas on life and martial arts including photos, drawings, squiggles and funky fonts and layout.  I know it’s going to be an awesome book when he’s finished.

One last thing, I thought I’d share a few images from my notebook.  One of the major topics I always end up having to address is time and scheduling.  Now, we all know I’m not the best at dealing with this subject myself but it’s an area I’m working on.  Up to now my problem has always been that other people’s systems of time management just don’t work for me.  So, lately I’ve begun piecing together my own method by taking the best things that work for me from assorted other systems.

One of those things is my Notebook To Do list and it’s the most effective tool I have.  Each day I note down all the things that need to be done in various categories of my life, crossing them off as I complete them.  This system uses the idea of using priorities and goals to choose what to do in any given day and really helps me keep on track.  The days I’m a complete procrastinator and get nothing done are normally days I neglect to make a Notebook page.  (I also use this book for my morning pages and any random notes or ideas that come to me throughout the day so it’s a nice amalgemation – and a complete look back at – my day.)

As you can see, it’s just an average spiral bound notebook with lined paper.  I’ve used various sizes over the years and really prefer this one.  Big enough to fit my whole day on, small enough to lug around.  (I’m having problems with sizing on this image so I’ll try and come back later to fix it so you can get a better view of my whole day.)

This isn’t perfect.  There really needs to be a calendar to keep track of upcoming dates and appointments so I’m still looking at amalgamating it into an agenda (which has other drawbacks).  Some days I wish I could just make my own agenda and then I wouldn’t have to worry about picking the better of two evils.

Here’s a close up look at how I lay out my day:


As you can see, I don’t always actually complete everything in my day.  I do find it most effective to break down my to do list into categories, it helps me prioritize and keep to a schedule of some kind.  School things in school time, computer things in computer time.  I also am inclined to put in the actual phone numbers or emails of people I have to contact (so I don’t need to scramble and look for them later) right on the list, and what you can’t see is that the top of the page is dated and then has appointments or time focused things noted on it before the list begins.

The most important thing I remind myself is that this is meant to be a tool – something to help me.  If it isn’t working and only adding to my burden of stress and guilt then I change it.   This particular system though has worked well for me for a few years now.  All I need is that perfect agenda and I’ll be sailing!

It’s almost One a.m. and I’m still not asleep.  I did go to bed (initially); honestly I did; I was 20 minutes late but that’s still in bed.  I just couldn’t sleep; ideas were streaming, pouring even, out of my mind.  I had to write them down just to get enough empty space to begin thinking about sleeping. (Happily, I think I may now be ready to sleep.  Finally.)

It’s not a bad thing though (although I may disagree tomorrow).  When I first started working on my business facelift and relaunch I set out with only a vague idea of what it would look like, what I would do, all I had firmly in mind was my passion and therefore, my niche.  Everything else, what a work day would look like, how I would earn money, was all really just general.  I kept asking God for some clear direction and he kept telling me to trust him and keep going forward.

After I read Creative Lisence by Danny Gregory I emailed Gregory hoping to pick his
brain a bit.  He was very amiable to having me sift through his head, even if I was a little
foggy on what I was looking for – which I suppose made it hard for him to know what to offer me.  The one bit of advice he did give me has propelled me on through the months since.  What he said was:  Just Begin.  Begin somewhere, doesn’t matter if it’s small – even humble – simply Begin.

So, when a month or two ago I still couldn’t answer the question, “But how will it make money?”  I chanted myself through my moments of doubt”

“Just keep going.  Just keep going.” (I hope Dora - Finding Nemo for those of you lacking
children - forgives the slight alteration to her masterful lyrics.)

I knew the idea was sound, the passion was right on the mark for who I was and what I was called to do.   All my doubts revolved around the practical aspects of seeing the Big Picture manifest. I could see the forms vaguely moving about in the mirror, I just didn’t have any definition in the image yet.

Suddenly, this week it’s like everything has leaped into focus.  Things I was tossing back and forth, vaguely considering have solidified.  Not just with a firm yes or no answer, but full, in detail, descriptions of how it will work.  And beyond that, ideas for the technology I’ll need to carry it out.  Connections and leads (some over a year old) are falling in place.  One idea leads directly into another and I can’t sleep until I start writing them down – everything is, out of nowhere, becoming clear.

I’m estatic (yes, it’s a strong word choice but I stand by it).  Yes, I was right, much of it is as I saw it, but it’s also so much more.  How like God – he gives you a vision, a target to aim for, and when you get close enough for things to come into focus he finally reveals the bigger truth.  How many times have I said to him, “I wasn’t expecting all this!”  I wasn’t expecting it but I’ll happily take it on.  To quote Graceful Journey, “Free the Spirit!”

(Wakizashi is starting to worry that I’m pulling an old Megan thing – jumping in too deep too fast.  But don’t worry my love, this isn’t the OLD Megan, this is the New Megan and New Megan clearly sees what’s for now and what’s for later.   I’m definitly going to make this investment pay off – Big Thumbs up.)

[Blogger's O.T. Note:  I know, I know.  Panda.  Grizzly.  Polar.  Bear, bear, bear.  I didn't get the entry up yesterday, but I have not abandoned you!  Here, for your thinking pleasure is the promised entry. Only one day late.]

Back to CoffeeBreak means two things for me:
1. My Weds & Thurs are shot
2. Back to Bible Study (which I will admit to slacking on this summer.)

I’ve been hesitant to post on biblical stuff since I moved my blog; I just don’t know how much of my audience remains Christian (not that Christians are always happy with my interpretation of things so I don’t know what I’m worried about).  Then it occured to me – I’m keeping a personal blog (in addition to my soon to come business blog) so that I can write more about my religious side.  What’s the point if I don’t share all of who I am?

Right.  So, like I said – CoffeeBreak season means back to Bible study.

I love leading CoffeeBreak.  Frankly, I hate surface skimming the Bible and I’m glad for the reason to dig and search out deeper stuff than most studies allow for.  Even if it does eat away at two days out of my week.  Currently, we are finishing off our study of Acts (which we actually started two season’s ago – long story).  This week we were on Acts 23-24.  But is was actually the lesson before that (chap 22) that inspired this blog.

In it, Paul is giving his account of all the pertinant parts of his life and he tells us that God spoke to him and told him to leave Jerusalem.  To whichPaul responds, “That seems like a stupid idea.  I don’t think I want to go.”  (A Megan Paraphrase).

In our group we had been comparing Paul’s version of events to Luke’s earlier account of the same story (chap. 9) when I pointed out that Ananias also responds to God in a similar way.  God tells him to go to Paul (at the time he was Saul) Ananias isn’t too eager to obey, “No way, that’s just reckless.” (again, a Megan Paraphrase).  You can’t really blame him, as one of my group members pointed out, that would like being asked to go help Hitler out – sign me out of that one.

I wonder if Luke was as interested in this kind of response as I am, because this isn’t the first time he records it.  (I’m probably missing a few others like it but, ) The first one I remember is Peter being told nothing is unclean (chap. 10) – where his reply to God could be summed up as, “No way.  You can’t make me do that!  It’s just plain wrong.”

Which makes me suspect: do you think we are just too careful in the way we interact with God?  As if God himself is some kind of Ming vase that could be easily broken; or a snooty Matre’d that will “ask us to leave” (aka kick us out) of the restaurant if we get too rowdy.  I mean, we parents hate to be talked back to, but I suspect that that has more to do with our pride (and other sinful roots) than our reflections of God as parents.

I suspect that because God doesn’t seem to take issue when you talk back to him.  All three of these guys looked God straight in the eye (well, you know what I mean) and told him why they thought that was a bad idea.  As if, God doesn’t know the law he made, isn’t aware Saul has been out killing Christians, or that distant Jews will doubt Paul’s testimony.

“Oh yeah God.  I know you told me to do such and such, but I figure you weren’t paying attention when this and that, and therefore aren’t aware of just how bad an idea that really is.”

God isn’t even phased by this kind of response.  He, in fact, doesn’t even reprimand them (“What didn’t you think I knew that already?”); no, he actually comforts and reassures them!  (I don’t know who’s been teaching him his parenting skills, but someone should inform him if you let your kids walk all over you once…)  ”Don’t worry, I hand picked this guy, you’ll be ok.”  ”Hey, I just told you, nothing I made is ‘unclean’.”  ”No problem, I made accomodations for that.  I’m sending you to the Gentiles instead.”

I don’t know where I’m going with this.  It was just so fascinating I felt like posting on it.  Who is this God we worship?  The God of the give and take?  The God who destroys whole cities and gives his own life for one man?  The God who demands perfect obedience or face death and who extends unrelenting Grace to all who want to take advantage of it?  The God who cries for his creation and hides from it (for the fun you can only get from an elaborate hide and seek game)?

When I think about my spiritual life – the spiritual things in me that I want to pass on to others; when I think about this BIG God I believe in – only one word stands out to me: Authentic.

Authentic.

Authentic.  Authentic.

AUTHENTIC.  A-U-T-H-E-N-T-I-C.

Play hard or go home – that’s God’s motto.  All of him in exhange for all of you…